In an effort to not shop as much, I vow to create work outfits ahead of time every day this month. And I vow to wear at least five things in my closet that I've never worn before or haven't worn in at least a year. And I'll catalog those outfits here online. (The one above is an experiment with Halloween makeup for my Mad Max costume. Not bad, huh?)
Yesterday was an amazing experience. I went to my alma mater's counseling center and received some good resources for this journey that I'm on. I figured out that a lot of my spending habits come from my inability to organize and be diligent when it comes to things that require effort, attention, and detail. Unfortunately, these are the characteristics my father embodies that I CANNOT STAND!!!! It drives me crazy to watch him buy iced coffee for almost $3 at McDonald's when there are two cans and a package of coffee sitting in the refrigerator (yes, this is when I visit home since I no longer live there). Or the fact that he bought a brand new motorcycle and then rode it maybe three times. Or to know that everyone on his side of the family is in some amount of huge debt or overspending habit. My mom's side of the family, despite their craziness, all seem pretty financially responsible. My only blood uncle is easily one of my favorite people on the planet. He was able to almost completely buy a brand new car outright, which was amazing to me. Because he makes good money, but not astounding money. And he bought himself a house, goes on vacations, owns collectible art, and has a super active social life. Not to mention he built himself a music studio in the attic of his house and has all of the latest techie gear.
We also realized that I invest in men when I should invest in myself. Every time I'm on a good path, I get distracted by a new guy or the return of an old one. I buy dresses for dates, makeup to look good, pants for work so that if we meet up after, my ass still looks good. Yes, I admit it!!!!! And when things go sour, my self-esteem falters and I'm back at the store with a credit card and determination to not be upset anymore because I have the power to buy this outfit!!! And really, I render myself powerless by succumbing to that weakness. I always thought I'd be at least in a really strong, stable, passionate relationship at this age, in a job I love with great benefits, and a townhouse or at least a nice apartment.
So, where do I go from here? Well, my counselor can't counsel me because I'm no longer a student. But she referred me somewhere that has super cheap yet super effective counseling. And we talked about me exploring the old things that made me happy so that regardless of whether or not I have a man, I can maintain a confident sense of self and a core financial plan, with good financial responsibilities. And that way I won't use "exercising my power through use of money" whenever things aren't going so well.
And one last thing: I just discovered that my Borders Rewards Perks membership gets me access to restaurants who offer $10 gift cards for $4, $20-25 gift cards for $10, and even one of my favorite lounges offers $75 gift cards for $30. Time to have fun on the cheap!
Yesterday was an amazing experience. I went to my alma mater's counseling center and received some good resources for this journey that I'm on. I figured out that a lot of my spending habits come from my inability to organize and be diligent when it comes to things that require effort, attention, and detail. Unfortunately, these are the characteristics my father embodies that I CANNOT STAND!!!! It drives me crazy to watch him buy iced coffee for almost $3 at McDonald's when there are two cans and a package of coffee sitting in the refrigerator (yes, this is when I visit home since I no longer live there). Or the fact that he bought a brand new motorcycle and then rode it maybe three times. Or to know that everyone on his side of the family is in some amount of huge debt or overspending habit. My mom's side of the family, despite their craziness, all seem pretty financially responsible. My only blood uncle is easily one of my favorite people on the planet. He was able to almost completely buy a brand new car outright, which was amazing to me. Because he makes good money, but not astounding money. And he bought himself a house, goes on vacations, owns collectible art, and has a super active social life. Not to mention he built himself a music studio in the attic of his house and has all of the latest techie gear.
We also realized that I invest in men when I should invest in myself. Every time I'm on a good path, I get distracted by a new guy or the return of an old one. I buy dresses for dates, makeup to look good, pants for work so that if we meet up after, my ass still looks good. Yes, I admit it!!!!! And when things go sour, my self-esteem falters and I'm back at the store with a credit card and determination to not be upset anymore because I have the power to buy this outfit!!! And really, I render myself powerless by succumbing to that weakness. I always thought I'd be at least in a really strong, stable, passionate relationship at this age, in a job I love with great benefits, and a townhouse or at least a nice apartment.
So, where do I go from here? Well, my counselor can't counsel me because I'm no longer a student. But she referred me somewhere that has super cheap yet super effective counseling. And we talked about me exploring the old things that made me happy so that regardless of whether or not I have a man, I can maintain a confident sense of self and a core financial plan, with good financial responsibilities. And that way I won't use "exercising my power through use of money" whenever things aren't going so well.
And one last thing: I just discovered that my Borders Rewards Perks membership gets me access to restaurants who offer $10 gift cards for $4, $20-25 gift cards for $10, and even one of my favorite lounges offers $75 gift cards for $30. Time to have fun on the cheap!
No comments:
Post a Comment